Breathing Space

In London of the seventies Harold always arrived at social events with a fashionable and attractive partner. Although perfectly presentable, Harold was neither particularly good-looking nor rich. His closely guarded secret was that he advertised in the London Evening Standard’s Lonely Hearts column. Online dating sites have largely replaced the classified adverts and dating services. Any stigma or secrecy associated with the use of a dating service is a thing of the past.

Online dating sites offer a targeted service to those seeking new partners. Members range in age from eighteen to a hundred with a choice of thousands. The sites span every culture and religion. Most allow for selection based on culture, religion and a host of other preferences. Niche sites target Christians, Muslims or Jews. There are sites specifically aimed at gays and lesbians.

Online dating provides a welcome alternative to bars and clubs. Men and women looking to meet are there in numbers!

What about the much publicised dangers?
Online dating is as safe as meeting through any venue. The world is full of conmen, scammers and crooks. As with any other venue, proceed with caution. Discover as much as you can about the prospect before taking a contact further. Most sites allow you to block someone you don’t trust. Use it. Check the other person’s profile. If it is empty ask why. If there are many blanks, treat it with suspicion!

Some deliberately misrepresent themselves on dating sites. They post ancient photographs or photos of celebrities. There is an element of risk in moving from an online to face-to-face. The actual meeting may be a total shock! The stunning twenty year old blonde has transformed into forty-plus obese alcoholic.

Criminal syndicates target dating sites. A stunning beauty from Russia or Ghana is ready to marry you after two emails, but needs $10,000 to travel. Once the funds have been transferred the object of desire disappears. The stunning beauty doesn’t exist. Scammers use Internet cafes to carry out their business and are difficult to trace. Do not send money to prospective dates. Provide contact details only when you are ready to meet.

In spite of the dangers, online dating is a relatively safe platform to meet. The ability to vet a prospective dates before meeting provides an element of protection.

Online dating sites often work something like this. You register on the site online. Complete a questionnaire about you and your ideal partner’s physical attributes, beliefs, education, occupation and culture. Add a description of yourself and your ideal match. Upload photos and videos if allowed. You can meet and communicate with people from all around the world. In addition, you may capture the characteristics of the person that you would like to meet.

Once you have entered your details you are ready to begin your search. Many sites use algorithms of varying sophistication to identify prospective matches. You will be presented with a range of likely matches and perhaps a score. Some sites provide personality profiling to improve the chances of success.

Most online dating sites vet members’ profiles to eliminate scammers and those that use celebrity photos as their own. But some inevitably slip through the net.

Used with an awareness of the dangers, online dating is a useful way to meet prospective partners. Insist on a public venue for your first meeting. If your date is a different person from the one on the site, then leave immediately. Many people form lasting relationships through online dating, so the pros do outweigh the cons.

The best dating sites to use could depend on you. The cost ranges from free to $59 for a one month subscription.

One of the world’s most popular dating sites with over 15 million members is
Match.com.  Match.com offers free registration, posting of profiles and photographs. You are free to browse the site for prospective dates and to use a key-word search to find partners with shared interests. To contact other members requires a paid subscription of $30.00 per month. Value added features such as MindFindBind featuring Dr. Phil costs an additional $8.00.

Chemistry is a value-added offering from Match.com to compete in the eHarmony.com space. After completing a personality profile you are provided with the profiles of positive matches based on personality. A one week free trial is available.

eHarmony.com offers a more sophisticated personality profile services that has demonstrated great success in matching people to their ideal partners. Subscription rates vary from $59.95 per month to $110.95 for a three month membership or $173.70 for a six month membership. eHarmony claims to provide accurate and compatible matches and offer a seven day risk free trial.

Christianlifestyle.com is a dating service aimed exclusively at Christian singles and claims to be free.

Yid.com is a Jewish dating site that helps Jewish singles to meet.

PerfectMatch.com includes the “The Duet Total Compatibility System” which claims to provide ideal matches. Allow 20 to 40 minutes to complete and a subscription of $59.99 for one month.

DatingBuzz.com is based in South Africa
but is active internationally. DatingBuzz has many partners that market the service under different names such as L2Meet, Dating in New Zealand and Dating in Ireland. Registration and profile viewing are free but a subscription is required to contact prospective dates. Subscription rates vary from $10.00 to $20.00 per month depending on the country and currency. The site is truly international, and has a novel feature of allowing members to buy short-term gift subscriptions for prospective dates. DatingBuzz has a growing membership base of over 500,000.

Adult Friend Finder  is “the world’s largest sex and swingers personals community”. This is a free service available in English, French, Spanish, German, Dutch, Italian, Portuguese, Swedish, Chinese and Japanese. The service is aimed at those seeking casual relationships and sex.

Yahoo! Personals is one of the most successful online dating services, but is not available in all countries. Yahoo! Personals profiles are easy to create, and searches of other members are based on your own criteria. Yahoo! offers 7 days free.

Plentyoffish is a totally free dating site. The benefits include a free personality test, free instant messenger and free chat. Plentyoffish is one of the world’s biggest dating sites. It is financed completely by advertising. Although very successful, the member interface is rather crude. Photos are made to fit into boxes and lose their correct ratio. The site was developed and is maintained by one man and it shows. But then free is free

Online dating has become a great way to meet. As long as a few simple rules are followed, it is as safe as meeting in bars. Many of the sites listed are based in the USA and their international service is limited. There are some notable exceptions though.

If you are looking for love, why not give it a try?

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