Breathing Space

Writing about life, South Africa, Politics, anything and everything

← Yes, we have some bananas Good bye old friend →

The dangers of Internet dating

January 22nd, 2009 · 23 Comments

There is always an element of danger when meeting new people whether in a bar, a singles club or through Internet dating. People are not always what they seem. Online dating presents similar dangers plus a few more. When using an Internet dating service to find prospective dates, a few precautions can help limit your exposure to these dangers.

Most Internet dating sites allow for an element of anonymity when joining. You may complete the sections that describe you and even place a photo on the site, but including contact details (even where there are allowed) is folly. Rather communicate through the site’s own facilities. Once you have a fair idea of who you are talking to, then by all means exchange contact details.

The first danger is that of the dating site scammers. Often these are based in Ghana, Russia, Ukraine or Nigeria. A picture of an attractive man of woman is posted. Having created a profile, they select hundreds, even thousands of other members as favourites. Many claim to be religious and in search for long term relationships. These scammers are after your money. A few emails after meeting online they are very keen to travel to meet and possibly start up a new life with you. The only problem is the money. They need $10000 to meet the required expenses. Their own money is tied up or government restrictions prevent them from using it abroad.

The dating sites guard against this criminal element and delete their profiles when discovered. But it only takes a day or two for the scammers to find their next victim. Once the profile is deleted, the scammer reappears with another name and location within minutes.

The main protection against these scammers is to never send money or travel to destinations halfway across the globe for someone that you have never met. Most scammers leave their requirements for prospective dates very open.

When meeting new people there is always the possibility that the person is not who he or she says. It is simpler to misrepresent oneself over the Internet than in person. Sometimes the photos are not even of them. Look at the prospective date’s profile carefully before agreeing to meet. If most of the details are missing, then forget it. Exchange a few emails between you to start. Try to find out as much as you can before you meet.

Arrange the first meeting in a public place. This provides some protection. If the date is not the same person as shown in the picture then simply walk away. A face to face meeting in a restaurant or bar should be enough to let you know whether to continue with this new relationship or to end it then and there.

Relationships are often complex and fraught with dangers whether the meeting is online of face to face. Apart from the many decent and honest people there are many with a dark side to their character. These shady people can be found everywhere. Use your sixth sense coupled with some intelligence to guard against them and you will eb able to use Internet dating sites as safely as any other forum.

Tags: Life

23 responses so far ↓

  • 1 Ben @ dBusinessOpportunity // Feb 21, 2009 at 1:36 pm

    Sure, there are always pitfalls when meeting new people — one of which is to get disappointed… or dumped. But only a darn fool would send money to someone they’d never met! And if you are that foolish I guess you have a general problem in life — see the old proverb: “A fool and his money are soon parted” (stems from long before Internet era)

    Ben @ dBusinessOpportunity’s last blog post..Ways To Send Subscribers To Your Online Business

  • 2 barrym // Feb 21, 2009 at 4:43 pm

    … Yet there are many that fall for these scams! The scammers are businesses aimed at fleecing desperate lonely people. Their profiles are deleted daily, but are added again with different details.

  • 3 Albert // May 16, 2009 at 8:58 pm

    There is always a possibility something bad is going to happen like when you date in real life anouymously. It has the same factors, but in the Internet you are more blinded from the screen.

    Albert’s last blog post..Why Tagging Posts in General is Important

  • 4 Paul Skinner // May 23, 2009 at 3:12 am

    Internet dating is fine if done safely, i met my wife 11 years ago. although not strictly through a dating site, i just happened to offer her some advice and it went from there.
    But like another commenter said all dating is fraught with danger one way or another.

    Paul Skinner’s last blog post..Places to Avoid

  • 5 How To Get A Girl // Jul 8, 2009 at 9:28 pm

    One always need to be careful while dating blindly. Set limits until you know a person completely and find him trustworthy.

  • 6 vitiligo // Jul 18, 2009 at 6:47 pm

    Thanks for letting me know. Great?

  • 7 casting talent // Aug 8, 2009 at 7:08 pm

    Very pleasing blog, i like the articles out here!

  • 8 dating // Aug 10, 2009 at 2:18 am

    Nice blog.I found many useful information about dating and dating tips. Please add more artcles about online dating and online dating tips.

    dating’s last blog post..PEOPLE WHY DON?T NEED ANY DATING SERVICE AND TIPS.THEY JUST USE WODOO MAGIK AND GUNS.

  • 9 dating2day // Aug 10, 2009 at 2:19 am

    Nice blog.I found many useful information about dating and dating tips. Please add more artcles about online dating and online dating tips.

    dating2day’s last blog post..PEOPLE WHY DON?T NEED ANY DATING SERVICE AND TIPS.THEY JUST USE WODOO MAGIK AND GUNS.

  • 10 Free Vacation // Oct 15, 2009 at 12:17 am

    I like the articles out here!!!

    Free Vacation’s last blog post..Questions to Ask When Buying Timeshare

  • 11 Berita Harian // Nov 15, 2009 at 6:50 am

    Indeed there are some risks in internet dating, on the whole it goes back to ourselves, analyzing skills is very much important in this case.

    Berita Harian’s last blog post..[MUKTAMAD] Kerajaan Tidak Beri Bonus Kakitangan Awam 2009 !!!

  • 12 Pool Cover Pumps // Nov 20, 2009 at 4:46 am

    I am still not sure about this one. Having met my husband online, I think there is more potential here than originally portrayed. Perhaps more steps should be taken to defend oneself in case of a sticky situation is more along the lines I tend to take. I always carry around mace (albeit it is illegal in the US) as well as a 9 mm pistol in my purse (which for some reason is legal). Generally people are unsuspecting of a 5′ 2″ woman that has the ability to use deadly force. The back of REALLY quickly.

    Pool Cover Pumps’s last blog post..Little Giant PCP550 Pool Cover Pump

  • 13 Router Table Plans // Jan 4, 2010 at 8:17 am

    I think that safety is my biggest fear with online dating. You never know what type of person you’re going to come across.

    I’m not talking about physical safety here - mental safety is important with all of the crazies out there :-).

    Router Table Plans’s last blog post..Router Table Plans – My Project Results

  • 14 Nigerian Movies // Jan 23, 2010 at 6:09 pm

    Its so sad that people with bad intentions are really so creative in fooling others. What’s more saddening and disturbing is countries like Ukraine and Nigeria are being dragged into scams like this.

  • 15 juan jones // Feb 16, 2010 at 9:25 pm

    Good post. I really agree with you on this one.

  • 16 Lee Hyori Korea adidas orignial // Feb 21, 2010 at 5:15 pm

    ah…yes this is too dangerous. need to have some control over this. Thank for sharing this news.

    Korean Singer Lee Hyori 4th Album 2010
    Lee Hyori Adidas korea celebrities
    Korean Singer BoA Kwon Clothing Style
    Korean Singer Lee Hyori Guess Jean

    Lee Hyori Korea adidas orignial’s last blog post..Lee Hyori Korea Adidas Original

  • 17 Kerry // Apr 13, 2010 at 2:36 pm

    Here is a nice social network i find while browsing online i found a real friend there that i could talk to there are a lot of good people there if you are single or just want a true friend i would recomend this site you can share photo and videos with your friends too.

  • 18 100% free online dating // Apr 30, 2010 at 6:38 pm

    It is really dangerous for those new bies , me and my wife we met online , and now we got a kid we even starte dour own dating sites , but dating sites are full of scam , mostly from nigeria and ukraine , one must be carefull

  • 19 Weird Sea Monsters // Jun 2, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    just like with everything else…online dating is dangerous. but i just think people need to take extra precautions, and no be so trusting of everyone. i mean sometimes u cant even trust your own friends or family, so how can u trust a stranger uve never met? just sayin..

    Weird Sea Monsters’s last blog post..Mythical Creature Found in Ontario

  • 20 meeting people online // Jun 3, 2010 at 2:04 pm

    great site, keep on writing…

    meeting people online’s last blog post..Amor

  • 21 Louise // Aug 2, 2010 at 9:54 pm

    Woman please be careful when entering online dating,most of the man find you vulnerable and longing for partner.They use that and whatever they need is to get laid.Online dating has turn into a safe place for married man to pcik-up unsuspecting woman and also for players,sex addicts to pick any woman they want.Approach with caution and be safe..lets educate each other by not keep quite.

  • 22 developer // Aug 8, 2010 at 9:13 pm

    Internet dating is really dangerous thing. But it was much more dangeroius yet several years ago. About 10 years ago it was really dangerous business - like a gun or a drug dealing.
    Ukraine and other countrues where people have 40 bucks salary per month (10 years ago, today average salary in Ukraine is about 150-200 bucks).
    Sure it was dangerous. But today we know what is it. We know a girl from Ukraine probably just wants your money and no more. And this is not a surprise already.

    developer’s last blog post..Unresolved External Symbol _inflateEnd

  • 23 Single Asians // Aug 23, 2010 at 5:55 am

    I never thought I would find a date online, but after using an online dating site, I am now married because of it. You can find love on the internet!

Leave a Comment

*
To prove you're a person (not a spam script), type the security word shown in the picture. Click on the picture to hear an audio file of the word.
Click to hear an audio file of the anti-spam word